Following are some guidelines to determine whether a relationship has a chance to grow, or if it would be better to cut your losses:

• Are your values the same? Many couples differ in political opinions, but their core values are similar. If you find yourselves voting for different political candidates and taking opposing sides on issues, this is not a problem if you both have similar personal values like raising children, fostering your relationship, and respecting each other’s opinions.

• Are you tolerant of people whose viewpoints differ from yours? If you find that you are only able to interact with people whose opinions align with yours, you may have a tough time keeping any relationship going. Most people don't agree on everything, so it's important to keep an open mind. Even when you feel passionately about an issue, if you’re not being tolerant of your date’s opinions, it will be a relationship deal-breaker.

• Is your partner tolerant of your differences? If you are willing to listen and allow your partner to have his differing political opinions, then he should be just as respectful of yours. If you are with someone who wants you to change for him, this is a deal-breaker. Tolerance, respect and understanding are all keys to a good, healthy relationship.

• Do you respect each other’s opinions? If you end up in a screaming match every time you attempt to talk about an issue or the latest news report, you may want to reconsider dating each other. Respect for each other’s opinions means listening as well as talking. Also, don’t try to change your significant other’s stance. In this case, agreeing to disagree is the best way to go. If you can’t, move on.

Two years ago, New Jersey created the Internet Dating Safety Act. Now, New York State has done the same by creating a very similar act designed to make online dating safer for its single citizens. New York State now requires online dating services to post internet dating safety tips on their websites along with the fact if any criminal background checks are done on members.

For more on this news, read The Associated Press.

Tag: online dating legal law safety new york


Share
... ]]> Thu, 02 Sep 2010 15:31:00 -0500 174472 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174472.html Dating Experience w Jersey created the Internet Dating Safety Act. Now, New York State has done the same by creating a very similar act designed to make online dating safer for its single citizens. New York State now requires online dating services to post internet dating safety tips on their websites along with the fact if any criminal background checks are done on members.

For more on this news, read The Associated Press.

Tag: online dating legal law safety new york
"Never before has the dating world been so handy for married men and women looking for a fling,” warns Beatriz Avila Mileham, the online infidelity expert we consulted in the precursor to this article, “How To Avoid Married Matches Online.” Sites like DiscreetAdventures.com and the infamous AshleyMadison.com have made extramarital affairs mainstream, but what do you do when a married man or woman is seeking out illicit extracurricular activity on a site that doesn’t... ]]> Thu, 02 Sep 2010 15:07:00 -0500 174471 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174471.html Dating Experience has the dating world been so handy for married men and women looking for a fling,” warns Beatriz Avila Mileham, the online infidelity expert we consulted in the precursor to this article, “How To Avoid Married Matches Online.” Sites like DiscreetAdventures.com and the infamous AshleyMadison.com have made extramarital affairs mainstream, but what do you do when a married man or woman is seeking out illicit extracurricular activity on a site that doesn’t cater to it?

Here are a few more questions to ask yourself to determine if your potential sweetie is a keeper or a cheater:

• Do you know his or her last name? Protecting your privacy on the Internet is important, but if you’ve been chatting with someone for a while and have formed a bond that feels safe and genuine, exchanging full names is a logical step forward. If your match is unwilling to give you their name, particularly if you’re already communicating via the phone and especially if you’re considering meeting up in person, it might be a sign that they’re hiding a second life and don’t want you looking them up in the phonebook, finding them on Facebook, or searching their name on Google. Also be wary if you discover that someone has given you an alias online.

• Are you allowed to call him or her? Does your partner have a strict “Don’t call me, I’ll call you” policy? If so, your match might be married. A married person must schedule phone conversations around their married life, and cannot risk you calling at an inconvenient moment. Also consider where your date is calling you from (Is it ever a home number?), when your date calls (Is it always on their lunch break?), and whether their communication is consistent or unreliable.

• If you are allowed to call your date, does he or she ever pick up the phone? If you are constantly sent to voicemail, proceed with caution. Again, a married person can only conduct phone calls at specific convenient times, meaning that you will have to leave a message if you do not call during one of those ideal moments. Other signs that your match is being unfaithful to a spouse are: A) You frequently have to wait a long time before he or she is able to return your calls, and B) He or she is constantly full of excuses about being busy, forgetting to bring his or her mobile phone, or being in areas with poor reception.

• Is he or she extremely secretive even after going on multiple offline dates? In the early stages of a relationship, particularly one that begins online, it is expected that the parties involved will be hesitant to reveal certain important personal details about themselves. But if the relationship has lasted for a while and the connection is strong, and particularly if you have already shared a lot about yourself, it is reasonable to expect your partner to open up to you in return. Watch for warning signs like: your date is unwilling to discuss their past, avoids talking about their family and friends (or refuses to let you meet them), does not share information about where they live or work, and never invites you to their home.

Ultimately, the best way to avoid being the target of married affair-seekers is simple: use your intuition, and extricate yourself from any situation that makes you uncomfortable or suspicious.

Tag: online dating married matches
eHarmony in both the United States and Canada will be offering free communication this Labor Day weekend (or as the Canadians like to spell it, Labour Day). This 4 day free event begins at 12:01 AM on Friday, Sept. 3rd, 2010 and ends at 11:59 PM on Monday, Sept. 6th, 2010. Free communication weekends (FCW) at eHarmony allow all free members to not only take the personality test and receive matches for free, but they have the chance to communicate with their highly targeted matches as well.... ]]> Wed, 01 Sep 2010 13:31:00 -0500 174400 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174400.html Dating Experience the United States and Canada will be offering free communication this Labor Day weekend (or as the Canadians like to spell it, Labour Day). This 4 day free event begins at 12:01 AM on Friday, Sept. 3rd, 2010 and ends at 11:59 PM on Monday, Sept. 6th, 2010.

Free communication weekends (FCW) at eHarmony allow all free members to not only take the personality test and receive matches for free, but they have the chance to communicate with their highly targeted matches as well. This is all at no cost to you and with no credit card required. I have already seen a number of TV commercials advertising this FCW so you can expect eHarmony to be extra busy this long holiday weekend. Viewing of members profile pictures and Fasttracking the guided communication process is not included in the FCW events.

By our count this will be eHarmony's 28th free event. The last eHarmony free communication weekend occurred in July (see Story).

Check out our review of eHarmony for more information on the popular online match making service.

Tag: eharmony free holiday
Online dating, practical and effective though it is, can be a mixed bag at times. On most occasions, it’s a great way for singles who are tired of, or unable to participate in, the traditional dating scene to meet, but in some instances, it can also be a convenient tool for dishonest married individuals to find additional partners. In fact, some research has shown that a third of people using online dating sites are married! Beatriz Avila Mileham, a researcher who studied online... ]]> Wed, 01 Sep 2010 08:43:00 -0500 174395 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174395.html Dating Experience practical and effective though it is, can be a mixed bag at times. On most occasions, it’s a great way for singles who are tired of, or unable to participate in, the traditional dating scene to meet, but in some instances, it can also be a convenient tool for dishonest married individuals to find additional partners. In fact, some research has shown that a third of people using online dating sites are married!

Beatriz Avila Mileham, a researcher who studied online infidelity at the University of Florida, offers the following reason for the troubling trend:
Feel like your dates are few and far between? Maybe you should consider your chances in another city. According to a recent study by Match.com, Miami is the city that’s heating up in terms of dating, at least during the summer. From June to August, more singles in this city winked, emailed and connected with each other than in any other city. Those in New York and L.A. fared well, coming in second and third respectively. Generally, the East and West coasts have the most active online... ]]> Tue, 31 Aug 2010 16:19:00 -0500 174338 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174338.html Dating Experience dates are few and far between? Maybe you should consider your chances in another city.

According to a recent study by Match.com, Miami is the city that’s heating up in terms of dating, at least during the summer. From June to August, more singles in this city winked, emailed and connected with each other than in any other city. Those in New York and L.A. fared well, coming in second and third respectively. Generally, the East and West coasts have the most active online daters.

Singles on Match.com are more active than ever. The popular dating site also found that this summer is the best in Match.com’s 15-year history, with a 33% more winks and emails than last summer.

Mobile dating is also gaining popularity with singles looking for love, with a 92% increase in users since the summer began according to mobile research group Ground Truth.

Following are the top 10 cities for dating according to Match.com:

1. Miami, FL

2. New York, NY

3. Los Angeles, CA

4. Chicago, IL

5. Washington D.C.

6. Dallas, TX

7. San Diego, CA

8. Phoenix, AZ

9. Boston, MA

10. Houston, TX

Labor Day is also historically one of the most active days online. If you happen to live in one of the top 10 cities, make sure you log in and start communicating.

For more information on this popular online dating site, you can read our Match.com reivew.

Tag: match.com online dating top city
“Japan's Fukui prefecture has the nation's biggest share of dual-income households, the highest ratio of working women, and the lowest unemployment rate. What it doesn't have is enough babies.”

With those arresting leading lines, Aki Ito, a reporter for Bloomberg News in Tokyo, opens “Japan's Government Plays Matchmaker,” an article that details an interesting new initiative that’s about to be launched in the island nation.

Introducing…the Fukui Marriage-Hunting Café, the government’s new... ]]> Tue, 31 Aug 2010 09:55:00 -0500 174332 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174332.html Dating Experience efecture has the nation's biggest share of dual-income households, the highest ratio of working women, and the lowest unemployment rate. What it doesn't have is enough babies.”

With those arresting leading lines, Aki Ito, a reporter for Bloomberg News in Tokyo, opens “Japan's Government Plays Matchmaker,” an article that details an interesting new initiative that’s about to be launched in the island nation.

Introducing…the Fukui Marriage-Hunting Café, the government’s new online dating site for Japanese singles. The idea of government-sponsored matchmaking might sound crazy, but Japan is not the first country to set up a service with the intention of encouraging and aiding the love lives of its citizens. The Social Developmental Network of Singapore, for example, runs LoveByte, a Web site that doles out dating advice and has a search function that allows registered users to find other single users.

The Fukui Marriage-Hunting Café is a unique solution to a potentially-devastating problem Japan now faces: “At 1.34 children per woman, Japan's fertility rate is one of the lowest in the world, well below the 2.1 that is considered the minimum for a developed nation to maintain a constant population.” According to census data, 32 percent of Japanese women between the ages of 30 and 34 were unwed in 2005, a figure that is more than twice the number from 15 years earlier. As an increasing number of Japanese women postpone marriage, or decline to marry at all, the country’s birthrate is dropping to a dangerously low point with serious financial consequences.

Approximately “23 percent of the population is over 65, the highest ratio among the 62 countries tracked by Bloomberg,” which means that the “ranks of pensioners are swelling” while “the pool of workers and consumers is shrinking.” To combat this problem, Japan’s Democratic Party promised to lessen the burden of child rearing by offering families a monthly allowance of 13,000 yen ($150) per child and abolishing the fees for public high school. Naoto Kan, the current Prime Minister, also supported relationships and procreation in his former job as Finance Minister by encouraging his employees to leave work at 6 p.m. to go on dates.

The Fukui Marriage-Hunting Café will go above and beyond traditional online dating sites and Japan’s previous efforts to increase the country’s sagging birthrate by offering money or gifts to couples who marry partners they met using the site’s services. While government-sponsored matchmaking is an interesting idea, critics of the scheme note that “the central government's previous attempts to nudge up the birthrate have not met with success.”

So what do you think, readers? Should governments attempt to play cupid for their populace, or should they steer clear of citizens’ love lives?

Tag: japan online dating government
We all have something we'd like to change about ourselves. Maybe we have several somethings we'd like to change: our weight, that haircut that's growing out so slowly. Maybe it goes a little deeper, like we wish we were more brave and could try something new. That's okay; no one's perfect. But when it comes to your online dating profile, there's one large no-no: never apologize for who you are.

That's not to say you should brag about how wonderful you are (well, maybe just a little). ... ]]> Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:43:00 -0500 174252 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174252.html Dating Experience hing we'd like to change about ourselves. Maybe we have several somethings we'd like to change: our weight, that haircut that's growing out so slowly. Maybe it goes a little deeper, like we wish we were more brave and could try something new. That's okay; no one's perfect. But when it comes to your online dating profile, there's one large no-no: never apologize for who you are.

That's not to say you should brag about how wonderful you are (well, maybe just a little). But if there's something you're planning on changing – so much so that you want to bring it up on your profile – bring it up on your own terms. Don't be apologetic about it. Don't say, “I know I'm a little chubby, but I'm trying to work on that.” Try something like, “Recently I've joined a gym, and it feels great to have a healthier routine.” Instead of saying, “Trying new things is difficult for me, but I'm doing my best,” say, “Last month I joined a pottery class. I was nervous at first, but it's proven to be quite fun!”

The reader should be attracted to who you are, not who you promise you will be. And the first step in that direction is confidence about who you are, right now. Maybe you're not quite where you'd like to be, but that doesn't mean you're not good enough.

And remember: we are always pickier about ourselves – more often than not something that seems huge to us is much less significant to others. I once had a friend who was so keen to pick out a new picture for his profile now that he had lost 70 pounds. We went through his photos, and he realized two things: first, that it doesn't matter if you're thinner if you're scowling at the camera – a bad picture is a bad picture, and secondly, that his weight only affected his face minimally to begin with. Sure, he was much healthier now that he'd lost the weight, but it didn't affect how he looked in pictures all that much.

So when you're working on your online dating profile, be confident about who you are, not who you will become. Maybe actively working on things you want to change will be a confidence boost, like my friend and his weight. Still, ultimately, you need to be happy with yourself, faults and all. Everyone has them, and the person who ultimately falls in love with you will love you for the entire package, not just one aspect. Why can't you love yourself as well?

Tag: dating profile confidence
TangoWire has partnered with dating expert and bestselling author, David Wygant. You can expect to find weekly podcasts and articles by David offering helpful advice and answering member's questions about online dating and relationships. Just look for "The Dating Expert" block on the top left of the page when you sign into TangoWire. I have been an avid reader of Davids for more than a year now; he offers great insight in the world of dating.

For more on this online dating site which now... ]]> Sun, 29 Aug 2010 10:43:00 -0500 174171 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174171.html Dating Experience tnered with dating expert and bestselling author, David Wygant. You can expect to find weekly podcasts and articles by David offering helpful advice and answering member's questions about online dating and relationships. Just look for
Online relationships, like all relationships, follow a natural cycle. A couple meets, starts to get to know each other, and if the connection is strong they begin dating and the relationship enters a blissful, problem-free “honeymoon period.” But unfortunately, in most cases, the idyllic phase doesn’t last, problems arise, and the couple finds itself faced with the dreaded final stage in the relationship cycle: the break up. Many find it difficult to identify the signs that... ]]> Sun, 29 Aug 2010 10:19:00 -0500 174170 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174170.html Dating Experience nships, like all relationships, follow a natural cycle. A couple meets, starts to get to know each other, and if the connection is strong they begin dating and the relationship enters a blissful, problem-free “honeymoon period.” But unfortunately, in most cases, the idyllic phase doesn’t last, problems arise, and the couple finds itself faced with the dreaded final stage in the relationship cycle: the break up.

Many find it difficult to identify the signs that a relationship has run its course and needs to come to an end, while others are able to recognize the signs but choose to stay in spite of being unhappy, uncomfortable, or unsatisfied because they have difficulty coming to terms with the dissolution of their relationship and their impending singlehood. Taking the latter path is always unhealthy, and can potentially be dangerous when your relationship is conducted online. Be aware of the following five online romance red flags, and end your relationship immediately if you begin to experience any of them:

1. Lies & Discrepancies. Any relationship based on deception is doomed to failure, but dishonest online relationships have the potential to be twice as harmful due to the number of scammers and other criminals that search for victims on online dating sites. If you notice inconsistencies in the things your online partner says and does, or catch them being untruthful, it’s in your best interest to play it safe and protect yourself by ending the relationship.

2. Excessive Anger. It’s normal for partners in a relationship to vent their frustrations to each other, but taking this to an extreme is a sign of emotional and behavioral problems. If your cyber date is irrationally angry most of the time, particularly if their anger is directed at you, dissolve the relationship.

3. Any Feelings of Fear or Discomfort. If at any time you feel frightened, threatened, uncomfortable, or concerned about your safety, your online relationship must end immediately. There is a very good reason evolution has equipped humans with an effective fear response, so trust your gut instincts!

4. Controlling Behavior. Beware of online companions who place unreasonable demands on your time, attempt to control your activities and emotions, and try to dictate things like where you can go and who you are allowed to speak with. Abusive relationships online are just as dangerous and damaging as abusive relationships offline.

5. Stalking. Partners in an online romance, as well as those in traditional relationships, must never overstep the boundaries or exceed the personal comfort levels set forth by the participants. Tracking your actions online – or spying on you in person – is a clear signal that something is seriously wrong. The issue must be addressed as soon as possible to avoid ending up in an increasingly dangerous situation.

No one enjoys going through a break up, but remember that sometimes there is more than a broken heart at stake. Protect yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically by ending any online relationship immediately when these red flags appear.

Tag: breaking up online relationships
An online dating profile can tell you a lot about a person – Does she smoke? Does he want children? What are his hobbies? Where did she go to school? – but there are a few key things that you will probably never find in someone’s profile, like arrest records, sex offender status, and financial history. When you’re meeting someone in person, things like body language, tone of voice, and pace of speech offer a lot of clues about the truthfulness of what your date is... ]]> Sat, 28 Aug 2010 09:07:00 -0500 174111 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174111.html Dating Experience ng profile can tell you a lot about a person – Does she smoke? Does he want children? What are his hobbies? Where did she go to school? – but there are a few key things that you will probably never find in someone’s profile, like arrest records, sex offender status, and financial history.

When you’re meeting someone in person, things like body language, tone of voice, and pace of speech offer a lot of clues about the truthfulness of what your date is telling you. But when all of the information you know about someone has been gathered from the text of profiles, emails, and instant messaging conversations, it is much more difficult to determine if your date is being dishonest.

So how do you protect yourself from predators?

You could try asking something along the lines of “Hey, you don’t happen to have a criminal record, do you?” but it’s not the smoothest of pickup lines and I have a tiny hunch that most prospective dates would consider it a turn-off. Instead, I recommend a more subtle (and confidential!) approach: the online criminal background check.

A background check is the ideal way to discretely find out if someone you’re interested in is a liar or a potential lover. If you find nothing suspicious, you haven’t hurt your date’s feelings or made them uncomfortable with the aforementioned awkward pickup line, and if you do find something that makes you nervous you still have time to walk away from the situation easily.

Some Web sites, like DateDetective.com, cater specifically to online dating, but most sites conduct general background checks on either a statewide or a nationwide level. FreeBackgroundChecksUSA.com, for instance, presents basic facts about each state (like population and largest city) as well as information on crime rates within the state. They also provide links to the National Sex Offender Registry, and places where you can find out more about criminal records, incarceration records, and court records.

SnoopStation.com offers a free option that takes you through a short questionnaire to determine exactly what information you’d like to acquire and what information you already have. If you know the person’s name, you then have the option to search his or her criminal history, financial history (or occupational details), marital/relationship history, vital details (like name, age, and SSN), location, or to simply find out as much information as possible about the person. If you do not know the person’s name, you can search using his or her phone number, address, email address, or Web site URL.

CriminalSearches.com is a very easy-to-use site that provides information using a simple system of symbols that puts offenses into several categories: Behavioral, Business, Drug & Alcohol, Sex Related, Theft/Robbery, Violent, and Traffic/Other. Like many other online background check sites, CriminalSearches.com offers basic information for free and redirects to a paid service for a more detailed report.

I recommend searching several different sites and comparing the results, to ensure the accuracy of their information. You can also check accuracy by running a search on your own name. If you ever find yourself worrying about the honesty of someone you’ve met online, don’t hesitate to conduct a quick search on an online background check site. The old adage is true: better safe than sorry!

Tag: background checks
It seems the economic recession hasn’t slowed down many singles’ search for love, especially when it comes to online dating.

According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, a report by Web tracker comScore Inc. showed that online dating nationwide increased 15% from May 2009 to May 2010, but in the Bay area (which includes San Francisco, San Jose and Oakland) it increased 22% over the same period of time.

Andrew Lipsman, senior director of industry analysis at comScore, claims... ]]> Fri, 27 Aug 2010 21:07:00 -0500 174080 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174080.html Dating Experience omic recession hasn’t slowed down many singles’ search for love, especially when it comes to online dating.

According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, a report by Web tracker comScore Inc. showed that online dating nationwide increased 15% from May 2009 to May 2010, but in the Bay area (which includes San Francisco, San Jose and Oakland) it increased 22% over the same period of time.

Andrew Lipsman, senior director of industry analysis at comScore, claims the emergence of free dating sites like PlentyofFish.com and Zoosk as well as the tech-saavy residents of the area have contributed to the growth.

Paid dating websites like eHarmony, Perfectmatch, and Match.com say that they haven’t noticed any major shifts in the region, but hard economic times don’t stop people from looking for more serious relationships. eHarmony and Match also found that the average dater in the Bay area skewed older than the rest of the country. The average age for a dater in San Francisco on Match.com is 38.

The Bay area region is sometimes called “The Valley of No Dolls” because of the larger numbers of single male software engineers and other tech-saavy types compared to the number of single women. However, Match.com, Perfectmatch and eHarmony agree that there seem to be more women online dating. Perfectmatch claims 53% of its Bay area members are women, compared to 51% for the rest of the country.

For more information on the dating sites mentioned in this article, please read our Match.com review, eHarmony review or our Perfectmatch.com review.

Tag: online dating bay area statistics


“It's not you, it's me.” In some form or another, we've all heard this phrase – and some of us have probably used it once or twice. It's probably one of the most commonly-used themes in dating and breakups. But if you use it all the time, when does it become a sign that there's a deeper problem?

A friend of mine has been having trouble in love. She's found a good guy – a great guy, really. While Hollywood likes to portray men as commitmentphobes, she is actually the one who has resisted... ]]> Fri, 27 Aug 2010 09:07:00 -0500 174036 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-174036.html Dating Experience 's me.” In some form or another, we've all heard this phrase – and some of us have probably used it once or twice. It's probably one of the most commonly-used themes in dating and breakups. But if you use it all the time, when does it become a sign that there's a deeper problem?

A friend of mine has been having trouble in love. She's found a good guy – a great guy, really. While Hollywood likes to portray men as commitmentphobes, she is actually the one who has resisted a good relationship. First she wondered if there was some secret the man was hiding, if he was literally too good to be true. She got to know him, and those fears were laid to rest.

Next she wondered if maybe she wasn't fully attracted to him – if some component was missing. That, however, all seems to be in order as well. Try as she might to find something lacking in this guy, my friend simply couldn't. And for a few weeks, she was happy.

Until they began discussing future plans. Some deep fear was triggered in my friend, and again she's having doubts. This time, though, she knows it can't be due to the man she's seeing – so she must be the one at fault. Maybe she's “just not feeling it.” In short, she's tried so hard to find a problem, she's decided she must be the problem.

And at this rate, maybe she's right. But I don't think the problem is that she's “just not feeling it” - I think it's that she's so afraid to be happy, so used to the never-ending hunt for the “perfect guy,” that the prospect of having actually found a good guy is somewhat unreal to her. Some part of her brain is afraid to relax, afraid to be happy. And unfortunately, if she can't sort out her heart, this guy is going to pay the price as well.

Will my friend be able to get it together, or is she really “just not feeling it”? Only she can truly answer that, and only time will tell. In the meantime, as you embark on your own first dates, think of your own hearts: are you simply trying to be cautious as you start a new relationship, or are you searching for problems that don't exist? Are you creating the
One of UKs largest online dating sites, DatingDirect.com, has over 5 million members now. I notice the other day when I was updating the snapshot for our review of DatingDIrect that they have a new statistic posted on their homepage (at least it is new to me). According to DatingDirect, on average 5,224 conversations between singles in the United Kingdom happen every day on their dating service. A conversation is defined as emails between two members or, two members using the instant messenger... ]]> Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:43:00 -0500 173992 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173992.html Dating Experience t online dating sites, DatingDirect.com, has over 5 million members now. I notice the other day when I was updating the snapshot for our review of DatingDIrect that they have a new statistic posted on their homepage (at least it is new to me). According to DatingDirect, on average 5,224 conversations between singles in the United Kingdom happen every day on their dating service. A conversation is defined as emails between two members or, two members using the instant messenger to communicate. Taking this statistic a step further this means almost 10,500 people receive some sort of message every day from another member of DatingDirect.

With all of these DatingDirect.com members communicating with each other, this seems like the right dating site to join if you are single and living in the UK. For more information on this online dating site, you can read our review of DatingDirect.com.

Tag: datingdirect.com communication statistic united kingdom

If you’re unemployed and afraid this will negatively affect your dating life, times have changed. A new study from online dating site Zoosk shows that unemployed men are more dateable than ever. According to Zoosk, 60% of its female members surveyed said they would date a man who is unemployed, compared to 52% in 2009. Also, 90% of men said they would date an unemployed woman. And when it comes to picking up the check, chivalry isn’t dead. A staggering 85.9% of men said they... ]]> Thu, 26 Aug 2010 10:19:00 -0500 173988 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173988.html Dating Experience e unemployed and afraid this will negatively affect your dating life, times have changed. A new study from online dating site Zoosk shows that unemployed men are more dateable than ever.

According to Zoosk, 60% of its female members surveyed said they would date a man who is unemployed, compared to 52% in 2009. Also, 90% of men said they would date an unemployed woman.

And when it comes to picking up the check, chivalry isn’t dead. A staggering 85.9% of men said they would pay the bill on a date, despite 52% claiming a date costs more in 2010 than it did in 2009. Perhaps this is because women are letting men foot more of the bill…57% of women said they spend less on dates now than in 2009.

Another interesting trend found in the study was that an overwhelming majority of daters don’t need to be wined and dined. 92% of singles are now open to free dates compared to only 85% in 2009. Also, 70% said they do not consider money an important factor when choosing a mate.

It seems the recession has taught us that despite our own economic concerns, money isn’t a main focus for singles. Lucky for us, love trumps money.

The study was conducted in August 2010 via an online poll, which fielded 1,858 responses from singles in the U.S.

For more information on the dating site which provided this poll, read our review of Zoosk.com.

Tag: online dating zoosk statisitcs money
On July 16, 2010, in Westchester County, New York, a man named Solomon Jesus Nasser pleaded guilty to a charge of third-degree grand larceny, after stealing nearly $200,000 over a course of three years. His victims were women he’d met through online dating services. Nasser won the trust and admiration of his targets by claiming to be an advisor to President George W. Bush, a high-ranking official in the Department of Defense, and a Navy admiral, among other things. He would then mention... ]]> Wed, 25 Aug 2010 10:43:00 -0500 173928 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173928.html Dating Experience 10, in Westchester County, New York, a man named Solomon Jesus Nasser pleaded guilty to a charge of third-degree grand larceny, after stealing nearly $200,000 over a course of three years.

His victims were women he’d met through online dating services. Nasser won the trust and admiration of his targets by claiming to be an advisor to President George W. Bush, a high-ranking official in the Department of Defense, and a Navy admiral, among other things. He would then mention that he was having financial difficulties as a result of legal issues, and subsequently would ask for loans to cover his living expenses.

Now that his online dating scam has been exposed, Nasser has been ordered to pay restitution, and faces up to seven years in prison.

It’s a tragic story, but there have been many others just like it. The Internet is a wonderful tool for finding love, but falling in love means letting your guard down, and letting your guard down online can sometimes mean disaster. Most online dating sites do not perform background checks or other verification procedures on new members, and the sites that do claim to take precautions such as these are frequently not able to perform the services effectively. It’s up to you, then, to protect yourself against online criminals.

Beware of the following four widespread scams when looking for love online:

1. Phone calls that will cost you a fortune. Dial with caution. Calling certain phone numbers will cause charges of hundreds of dollars to appear on your next phone bill. Only contact numbers with area codes you recognize or – better yet – use a VOIP client like Skype so that your personal phone number remains private and require interested members to contact you.

2. Fake profiles. Steer clear of profiles with sexually explicit usernames, profile pictures, and written content. They are almost always sex workers looking for paying clients, not people looking for dinner-and-a-movie dates with potential love matches.

3. Lies about long-distance love. One of the major advantages of online dating is that it allows you to connect with individuals all over the world, but the Internet’s global reach can also make it a dangerous place to meet people. Scammers in foreign countries often build rapport with victims and then ask for money for airfare so that they can meet their “dates” in person. Never offer to pay for someone’s travel expenses – odds are, you will stop hearing from them as soon as the money is transferred.

4. The Nigerian scam. Also known as the 419 fraud, this is a classic Web-based con that can be found almost everywhere online. In comes in many guises, but typical manifestations of the scam involve a person posing as a government or bank employee (or someone related to such a person) and making requests like:

• Asking to transfer a large sum of money into your bank account.

• Offering to pay you to cash checks and send them the money.

• Appealing to you to help a dying person give his money to charity.

Do not ever send money to or accept money from someone on an online dating site, no matter how safe it seems.

You can’t always protect a vulnerable heart from being broken, but you can protect a vulnerable bank account from being the victim of an online scam.

Tag: online dating love scam
Wow, there has been a lot of eHarmony news lately. Here is some more dealing with the marketing and media side of the business.

Industry insiders are reporting that eHarmony has reached out to a number of media agencies including Omnicom Group, WPP, Publicis Groupe and Interpublic Group of Cos. It looks like they are shopping around with their rather large marketing account. According to Kantar Media, eHarmony "spent a total of $85.4 million in domestic measured media in 2009".

For more... ]]> Tue, 24 Aug 2010 15:07:00 -0500 173873 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173873.html Dating Experience en a lot of eHarmony news lately. Here is some more dealing with the marketing and media side of the business.

Industry insiders are reporting that eHarmony has reached out to a number of media agencies including Omnicom Group, WPP, Publicis Groupe and Interpublic Group of Cos. It looks like they are shopping around with their rather large marketing account. According to Kantar Media, eHarmony
eHarmony has launched a new country specific dating site. It is called eHarmony Brazil and you can find it here. We noticed that the site was live last Friday, August 20. This dating site is in Portuguese, Brazil's official language.

Currently there is no cost to join and every member will receive a 90 day free full membership. So if you are single and live in Brazil why not give the site a shot. Sure membership will be small at the moment but this is sure to grow due to the free... ]]> Tue, 24 Aug 2010 11:55:00 -0500 173862 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173862.html Dating Experience ched a new country specific dating site. It is called eHarmony Brazil and you can find it here. We noticed that the site was live last Friday, August 20. This dating site is in Portuguese, Brazil's official language.

Currently there is no cost to join and every member will receive a 90 day free full membership. So if you are single and live in Brazil why not give the site a shot. Sure membership will be small at the moment but this is sure to grow due to the free memberships offer.

eHarmony's last dating site to open its doors was for the United Kingdom in July of 2008. During this time there were also rumours of a Chinese version of eHarmony in the works, but I haven't heard any recent news about the project (of if it even still exists).

To find out more about this dating site, you can check out our eHarmony review.

Tag: eharmony brazil launch
When last we talked, we reviewed the findings of OKCupid’s photo experiment called “Don’t Be Ugly By Accident.” We laughed, we cried, we were told that iPhone users supposedly have more sex than people who use phones of other brands. But now it’s time to examine the study with a more critical eye, to figure out what the data actually means. Do the results really have practical uses, or is OKCupid just telling us that we all need makeovers? The first conclusion... ]]> Tue, 24 Aug 2010 09:31:00 -0500 173858 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173858.html Dating Experience alked, we reviewed the findings of OKCupid’s photo experiment called “Don’t Be Ugly By Accident.” We laughed, we cried, we were told that iPhone users supposedly have more sex than people who use phones of other brands.

But now it’s time to examine the study with a more critical eye, to figure out what the data actually means. Do the results really have practical uses, or is OKCupid just telling us that we all need makeovers?

The first conclusion the experts at OKCupid draw is that the “type and brand of camera you use has a huge effect on how good you look in your pictures.” In general, they found that more complex cameras, such as those that have interchangeable lenses, took better photos than simple point-and-shoot cameras. Camera phones took the photos that were deemed the worst.

Analysis: If you’re like me, you read that and thought “Did we really need a study to tell us that? Isn’t that obvious? Of course a better, more expensive camera is going to take superior pictures!” But astute readers will notice that, while the quality of the camera will almost always affect the quality of the pictures it takes, that’s not the whole story. High quality cameras, like the Panasonic Micro 3/4s mentioned in the article, are most likely owned by professionals (or, at the very least, people who have studied and have a strong interest in photography), so it should come as no surprise that the photos taken by them are usually considered better than other pictures.

I have already mentioned the article’s next, and most striking, conclusion: that iPhone users have more sex than other people. But is that really true?

Analysis: iPhone users might have more active sex lives than other mobile phone users, but OKCupid’s study doesn’t prove it. The graphs included in the article measure the average number of sexual partners users of iPhone, Android, and BlackBerry devices have had by age thirty – but “a high number of sexual partners” is not the same thing as “having more sex.”

The study’s third finding, that using a flash ages the picture’s subject, can probably be filed away under “O” for “Obvious.” It shouldn’t surprise anyone that people look younger under lower, more forgiving light that hides wrinkles and blemishes, and older under harsh, direct light.

The last two results of OKCupid’s study are “that the best pictures have a very shallow depth of field,” and “there are peak times of day to take a good picture.” The article even includes of couple of graphs, examples, and an image from Wikipedia to prove the point.

Analysis: Both things are very likely true, but once again, we have to consider who is taking the pictures. In most cases, the people who understand the technical details and terms of photography, like depth of field, aperture, and how to use natural lighting to the greatest effect, are professionals and photography enthusiasts. It is common sense that pictures taken by experts will turn out better than other photos.

Overall, while the experiment leads to a few interesting observations, most should be taken with a grain of salt or two, and the study’s most useful advice can be found at the end of the article: “In conclusion, the data strongly suggest that if you're single, you (or someone you know) should learn a little bit about photography. Technique can make or break your photograph, and the right decisions can get you more dates.”

To find out more about this free dating site, read our review of OkCupid.

Tag: okcupid.com photos ugly
I've been thinking a lot, lately, about the words and phrases we use in everyday life, and how they inevitably shape our expectations as we set out looking for love. Here's one that surprised me when I realized it: the somewhat cynical tone we get when we talk about established relationships.

I'm not talking about embittered single people – I mean everyone, from the people who've been married for decades to the twelve-year-old that hasn't yet dated. Talk about an established... ]]> Mon, 23 Aug 2010 09:07:00 -0500 173800 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173800.html Dating Experience g a lot, lately, about the words and phrases we use in everyday life, and how they inevitably shape our expectations as we set out looking for love. Here's one that surprised me when I realized it: the somewhat cynical tone we get when we talk about established relationships.

I'm not talking about embittered single people – I mean everyone, from the people who've been married for decades to the twelve-year-old that hasn't yet dated. Talk about an established relationship, and we all start making dire predictions:

“When the honeymoon's over...” “Sure, he seems great now, but give it time, and all those things you love about him will be annoying habits you wish he'd break!” “The old ball and chain...” “When the magic wears off...” “I give them two years...” “When the infatuation wears off, that's when the real work begins!” “A good relationship is hard work.”

Gee, seems like fun! While most of these admonitions are probably designed to keep someone's head on their shoulders and their feet on the ground, in reality I've met a whole bunch of people who get into a good relationship and constantly wait for the other shoe to drop. When does the “real work” begin? Here's a habit I find mildly annoying... will it drive me insane ten years down the road?

I'm just another person, with just another opinion, but here's my take: the real work is finding, and recognizing, that great person. Will they be perfect? No – no human being is. And that's okay – you're not perfect either. Every person will do something that grates on you once in awhile. If your person's annoying tendencies are occasional, or just plain livable (ie, you can cope with squeezing from the middle of the toothpaste, you can't live with a racist), well then, there's no real problem. Any annoyance can be discussed with good communication.

Another random tip? Stay out of the sections of greeting card stores that basically do nothing but bash the opposite sex or the significant other. Some sitcoms do a pretty good job of this too. Once we stop thinking that genders come from different planets, we become a lot more willing to listen and figure out solutions.

In my opinion, a good relationship shouldn't be hard work. It takes maintenance – that is, constant communication, but is that really all that bad? Your significant other is the one you turn to when the rest of the world is rough; they're not the opposing team. And maybe it's possible, if you find the right person, the other shoe won't drop – ever.

Tag: relationships
One of the hardest parts of dating is the gamble that it might not work. To a certain extent, dating is a numbers game; it's unlikely that every single date will work out and lead to a happily ever after (and if it did, I'd be asking you why you continue to go on new dates!). We address this concern in popular culture; we try to make it obvious that not every date, or even every relationship, will work out – I know I've seen more than my share of merchandise with “cute” sayings about kissing... ]]> Sun, 22 Aug 2010 15:31:00 -0500 173741 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173741.html Dating Experience t parts of dating is the gamble that it might not work. To a certain extent, dating is a numbers game; it's unlikely that every single date will work out and lead to a happily ever after (and if it did, I'd be asking you why you continue to go on new dates!). We address this concern in popular culture; we try to make it obvious that not every date, or even every relationship, will work out – I know I've seen more than my share of merchandise with “cute” sayings about kissing many frogs before you meet a prince. Still, the knowledge that it's just “part of dating” doesn't take the sting out.

But maybe it shouldn't. Maybe we shouldn't try to immunize ourselves from the emotions brought about by meeting new people, people that could potentially be lifelong friends or more. Because if you're going to put yourself through dating, with all its ups and downs, why go halfway? Do you want to be caught with one foot out the door when you actually meet someone worthwhile?

Or perhaps the question should be: if you're not completely present, mind, body and soul, at a first date, will you even recognize a good thing if you see it? Imagine: you're someone who's had a fair amount of unsuccessful relationships, and even more unsuccessful first dates. Will you be spending your time listening to your date, determining if you really are compatible? Or, perhaps, you'll be trying to figure out what's “wrong” with your date before you're caught unawares. The slightest imperfections in your date become magnified, so that in case things go wrong you can tell yourself, “Well, I could never be with someone with such a large forehead, anyway.”

Taking the latter approach might save your feelings in the short run – but have you really come out ahead? What if there actually was nothing “wrong” with your date? What if you become so concerned about protecting your heart that you miss a chance to share it?

So maybe not all first dates and relationships work out. Maybe there's a sting every now and then – it's part of life. Don't let yourself become so numb that you miss out on something great.

Tag: dating chance
I can’t pick on the ladies without pointing out some of the mistakes men make while dating. Guys…if you’ve found yourself attracted to a woman only to have the relationship fizzle after the first or second date, there may be something you’re overlooking. Instead of getting stuck in an endless cycle of first dates, it’s time to make some positive changes to improve your dating life. Following are some mistakes to consider and avoid: Are you cheap? Most girls... ]]> Sun, 22 Aug 2010 11:07:00 -0500 173735 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173735.html Dating Experience pick on the ladies without pointing out some of the mistakes men make while dating. Guys…if you’ve found yourself attracted to a woman only to have the relationship fizzle after the first or second date, there may be something you’re overlooking. Instead of getting stuck in an endless cycle of first dates, it’s time to make some positive changes to improve your dating life.

Following are some mistakes to consider and avoid:

Are you cheap? Most girls don’t expect you to wine and dine them at expensive restaurants on the first date unless they are high-maintenance or looking for rich guys. However, men do score points for being chivalrous as well as generous. Don’t examine the bill to split it down to the penny, or leave too small a tip. Offer to pick up the tab without wincing, especially on a first date. If things go well, you’ll have plenty of chances for her to reciprocate.

Do you act nervous or insecure? This is a first date after all! There’s nothing to lose, so try to relax and be yourself. Women are attracted to confident men, and we are most confident when we’re comfortable. If you’re feeling unsure, take her to a place you go often, so that you can feel relaxed in the setting.

Do you come across as arrogant? If you start listing off all of your business successes, houses, and exotic vacations in the first fifteen minutes of the date hoping to impress her, it will backfire. Women don’t like to hear a list of reasons why they should date you; they like to feel a connection. Instead of listing all your assets to win her heart, engage her in conversation. Ask her about herself and what she loves to do, and let the conversation flow.

Are you bringing your baggage to the date? Don’t start the date with stories about your crazy ex, or bad dating experiences in general. If you're still bitter or hung up on an ex, she will pick up on it. Plus, who wants to hear about an ex on the first date? Remember, you are meeting her for the first time, so leave your own hang-ups at the door to give a new relationship a chance to begin.

Tag: dating mistakes men
Opps, we missed this Chemistry free weekend by a day. Still, it is not too late to give them a try since the free communication weekend ends Sunday, August 22, 2010 at midnight. What does a free communication weekend give you at Chemistry.com you may ask? Well, a new member will be able to create a profile, take the personality test, receive matches and communicate with those matches, all at no cost and with no credit card required. You receive most features that a paid member at Chemistry... ]]> Sat, 21 Aug 2010 14:19:00 -0500 173683 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173683.html Dating Experience his Chemistry free weekend by a day. Still, it is not too late to give them a try since the free communication weekend ends Sunday, August 22, 2010 at midnight. What does a free communication weekend give you at Chemistry.com you may ask? Well, a new member will be able to create a profile, take the personality test, receive matches and communicate with those matches, all at no cost and with no credit card required. You receive most features that a paid member at Chemistry would.

The last Chemistry free communication weekend was during the same weekend in July (see Story). This type of promotion is the ninth time Chemistry has run one. To find out more information on this popular dating service which delivers highly targeted matches based on your personality, read our Chemistry.com review.

Tag: chemistry free flirtathon

Do you consider yourself unlucky in love? If you have had a few dating disasters, or can’t seem to get past the first date and into a relationship, maybe it’s time to self-reflect. We could all use a little improvement and awareness when it comes to dating. After all, we want to attract the right man to us, right? If you find yourself stuck in an endless cycle of first dates, consider the following: Do you come on too strong? Women today are independent, strong, and successful. ... ]]> Sat, 21 Aug 2010 09:55:00 -0500 173679 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173679.html Dating Experience r yourself unlucky in love? If you have had a few dating disasters, or can’t seem to get past the first date and into a relationship, maybe it’s time to self-reflect. We could all use a little improvement and awareness when it comes to dating. After all, we want to attract the right man to us, right?

If you find yourself stuck in an endless cycle of first dates, consider the following:

Do you come on too strong? Women today are independent, strong, and successful. These are all wonderful qualities, but if you feel secure in yourself, you don’t try to prove you are all of these things to the men you date. Instead of taking charge like you do at work, learn to listen and engage him as well. How else will you know if he’s a good match? He isn’t a client, he’s your date.

Are you too needy? If you’ve had a great date and he hasn’t asked you out again, don’t call or text him several times hoping to get a response. If he is interested, he will call. If you find yourself falling for guys too quickly before you really know them, take a step back and keep your options open. Remember, you’re entitled to date several guys at once until you decide to become exclusive with someone.


Are you too critical? Sometimes women can be critical or judgmental, especially when it comes to their dates. Before you dismiss a guy because he doesn’t meet everything on your checklist, recognize that you probably don’t meet everything on his checklist either. Try getting to know him before you judge him.

Do you have a bad attitude? Ok, so you’ve been hurt before. This is no excuse to write all men off as losers or deadbeats. There are plenty of nice guys who are ready and open for a relationship. These guys won’t be interested in someone who prefers to concentrate on past wrongdoings. Leave your baggage at the door and come in with an open mind.

Tag: dating mistakes women
From an article over at Madison.com about seniors and how popular online dating is with this demographic, they talked briefly about Match.com. In the piece, Match.com's public relations coordinator, Jaklin Kaden, stated that over 6 percent of Match members are 60 years old or older. For Match members 50 or more, this statistic jumps to 22 percent.

To find out more about this dating service, read our review of Match.com.

Tag: match.com seniors statistic


Share

... ]]> Fri, 20 Aug 2010 13:07:00 -0500 173634 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173634.html Dating Experience ver at Madison.com about seniors and how popular online dating is with this demographic, they talked briefly about Match.com. In the piece, Match.com's public relations coordinator, Jaklin Kaden, stated that over 6 percent of Match members are 60 years old or older. For Match members 50 or more, this statistic jumps to 22 percent.

To find out more about this dating service, read our review of Match.com.

Tag: match.com seniors statistic
eHarmony commissioned a new marriage metrics study from Harris Interactive in 2009. They have released the statistics from the study this week in part to celebrate their 10 year anniversary. The last Harris Interactive study done for eHarmony was in 2007 (see Story); it concluded that 236 eHarmony users get married every day. This was based on data from April 1, 2006 to March 31, 2007. So, it has been about 3 years since this statistics has been updated. Let's see what Harris Interactive found... ]]> Fri, 20 Aug 2010 11:31:00 -0500 173629 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173629.html Dating Experience oned a new marriage metrics study from Harris Interactive in 2009. They have released the statistics from the study this week in part to celebrate their 10 year anniversary. The last Harris Interactive study done for eHarmony was in 2007 (see Story); it concluded that 236 eHarmony users get married every day. This was based on data from April 1, 2006 to March 31, 2007. So, it has been about 3 years since this statistics has been updated. Let's see what Harris Interactive found out.

What they found was that the number of marriages per day resulting from eHarmony has doubled. On average, 542 people are married every day in the United States because of meeting online at eHarmony. Wow, this means there will be another 271 happy couples who married today, thanks to using the dating site eHarmony. This new data came from an online study from Harris Interactive which they ran during July and August of 2009. 7,994 people responded to this study, aged from 20 to 54 and who were married between Jan 1, 2008 and June 30, 2009. If you calculate it out, during this 18 month period, 148,311 eHarmony couples got married. This equals to 4.77 percent of all new marriages in the United States.

For more on this story you can read the 2009 summary of the eHarmony Marriage Metrics Study. For more about this dating site and how it matches members together, read our popular eHarmony review.

Tag: eharmony study statistics
When we're single, we spend a lot of time constructing an independent life. After all, no one wants to sit at home while they're waiting to find a significant other, right? So we fill up our social calendar with... everything else. We acquire a social life that does not need romance.

Then we meet someone. And to our shock and horror, we discover that the bustling social life, that shining example of independence that might have helped the person's attraction to you in the first... ]]> Fri, 20 Aug 2010 09:55:00 -0500 173628 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173628.html Dating Experience , we spend a lot of time constructing an independent life. After all, no one wants to sit at home while they're waiting to find a significant other, right? So we fill up our social calendar with... everything else. We acquire a social life that does not need romance.

Then we meet someone. And to our shock and horror, we discover that the bustling social life, that shining example of independence that might have helped the person's attraction to you in the first place... it doesn't actually have room for romance. What do we do now? Some might ponder what rearranging their schedule might mean – are they rearranging their lives for someone else? Are they really that independent, then? Some might chuck the romance portion out altogether, deciding that, yes, they really are that independent, and really don't need romance.

And maybe they really are. But others may miss out on romance because they're simply too stubborn to allow a new person to disrupt their lives. See, imagine a significant other – one that you want to stay with forever, in one way or another. This is, quite literally, incorporating a new person into every aspect of your life, from your daily routine to your choices when you cook dinner. Sometimes it works smoothly; other times it's an adjustment. In any case, your life has moved from “single” to “party of two.” It is, literally, a different life.

Thinking for two instead of one is an adjustment, to be sure – but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. We don't have to lose ourselves when we make someone else important, and shuffling our social calendar a little doesn't mean we'll lose our sense of self. We shouldn't bide our time, treading water until we find someone; absolutely not. Still, when we do find someone, it's only polite to pencil them in.

Tag: social life romance independence
I notice that Passion.com got a much needed homepage facelift recently (bottom left). The bottom right image is what the Passion.com homepage has looked like probably for the last 4 years or more (it has been a while). The white to pink gradient background of the new look in much better and it doesn't make the homepage feel as "busy" ascetic wise or as blocky. I also noticed that they have removed any mention of FriendFinder. I guess this is to make the service have a more distinct image and... ]]> Thu, 19 Aug 2010 20:19:00 -0500 173595 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173595.html Dating Experience sion.com got a much needed homepage facelift recently (bottom left). The bottom right image is what the Passion.com homepage has looked like probably for the last 4 years or more (it has been a while). The white to pink gradient background of the new look in much better and it doesn't make the homepage feel as
According to a United Kingdom dating site for cheating spouses 22 percent of their members attended private school. This is more than twice the national level. There study further revealed that 15 percent of members had attended a religious school. The dating site has over 500,000 members which equal about 2.5 percent of the married population in the United Kingdom.

For more on this story, read the press release.

Tag: education adulterers marriage statistics


Share
... ]]> Thu, 19 Aug 2010 15:55:00 -0500 173571 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173571.html Dating Experience ited Kingdom dating site for cheating spouses 22 percent of their members attended private school. This is more than twice the national level. There study further revealed that 15 percent of members had attended a religious school. The dating site has over 500,000 members which equal about 2.5 percent of the married population in the United Kingdom.

For more on this story, read the press release.

Tag: education adulterers marriage statistics
Spark Networks second quarter financial report was released last week (the quarter ended June 30). Overall revenue for this quarter was $10.3 million with a net income of $0.9 million. When these values are compared to quarter 2 last year, revenue is down by 8 percent and net income is down by 47 percent. Total costs this quarter is $8.6 million which is a decrease of 8 percent when compared to the same time last year of $9.3 million. As a whole the company had 160,239 subscribers. This is a... ]]> Thu, 19 Aug 2010 15:31:00 -0500 173570 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173570.html Dating Experience cond quarter financial report was released last week (the quarter ended June 30). Overall revenue for this quarter was $10.3 million with a net income of $0.9 million. When these values are compared to quarter 2 last year, revenue is down by 8 percent and net income is down by 47 percent. Total costs this quarter is $8.6 million which is a decrease of 8 percent when compared to the same time last year of $9.3 million. As a whole the company had 160,239 subscribers. This is a decrease of 2 percent from Q2, 2009.

The Jewish Networks (mostly JDate) revenue for quarter 2 was $6.7 million. This is a decrease of 6 percent when compared to last year. On the upside average paying subscribers was 89,055 which is an 8 percent increase for JDate when compared to the same time in 2009.

The Other Affinity Networks (MingleMatch dating sites) saw revenue reach $2.8 million this quarter. This is down by 16 percent when compared to last year. The average paying subscriber did not fall as hard and was only down 2 percent to 64,083.

Lastly, the General Market Networks revenue is $298,000. This is 57 percent less revenue that they earned, when compared to the same quarter last year. Subscribers faired no better and fell 54 percent to 6,434.

For the full 2010 Q2 release visit Spark Networks News Room.

Related Story: Spark Networks First Quarter 2010 Financials

Tag: spark networks finance statistics
Among the multitude of online dating sites, there remains a slim margin of those catering to specific and perhaps unusual interests. Although they may sound a little strange, they’re a great place to find people with similar interests in a place free of judgment. Here are a few examples:

ScientificMatch.com: this online dating website requires a bit of DNA instead of a multiple choice compatibility test to find your matches. By analyzing your DNA and comparing it to other users, they... ]]> Thu, 19 Aug 2010 14:43:00 -0500 173568 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173568.html Dating Experience de of online dating sites, there remains a slim margin of those catering to specific and perhaps unusual interests. Although they may sound a little strange, they’re a great place to find people with similar interests in a place free of judgment. Here are a few examples:

ScientificMatch.com: this online dating website requires a bit of DNA instead of a multiple choice compatibility test to find your matches. By analyzing your DNA and comparing it to other users, they determine your matches based on your genetic material. Among the benefits proposed by its creators, Scientific Match guarantees that you'll love the way your match smells, you will be sexually compatible, less likely to cheat, have better odds at conception, and that any potential offspring will have better immune systems due to the site's algorithmic dedication to genetic diversity. Sound interesting? It will only set you back about $2,000. Looking for something a little more affordable? Try GenePartner.com. They offer similar services for only $100.

DarwinDating.com: their tagline?
Handling a break up with poise, style, and grace is a complex undertaking at the best of times, and a Herculean challenge at the worst. The technological advances of the 21st century have made a lot of things easier – communicating with friends, collecting research for college papers, ordering everything from food, to books, to clothing, to medication – but the explosive popularity of social networking sites has made getting dumped more difficult than ever. I’m back today... ]]> Thu, 19 Aug 2010 11:55:00 -0500 173564 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173564.html Dating Experience ak up with poise, style, and grace is a complex undertaking at the best of times, and a Herculean challenge at the worst. The technological advances of the 21st century have made a lot of things easier – communicating with friends, collecting research for college papers, ordering everything from food, to books, to clothing, to medication – but the explosive popularity of social networking sites has made getting dumped more difficult than ever.

I’m back today with more wise words and astute advice from Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz about what to do when, as they so eloquently put it in “How to handle a break-up online,” “you've had your heart ripped from your chest” and the aorta is “geysering blood across your bedroom floor, on which you are currently sprawled.” Last time, we discussed how to avoid having your emotional wounds reopened every time you sign onto Twitter or check into Foursquare. Now it’s time to take on proper break up etiquette for the social networking giant Facebook and Google. Let’s get right down to business.

For Facebook Users:
Facebook is like quicksand for the freshly single. The moment you slip and start spying on your ex’s profile, you can’t escape, and you continue to be sucked farther and farther down into the dismal and depressing world of spying on your ex’s new life without you. In the event of a nasty break up, it’s in the best interest of your mental health to simply unfriend your ex and remove any photos you’ve uploaded of the two of you together. Don’t spend hours pouring over every new picture your ex adds, every new status your ex posts, and every new message left on your ex’s wall, reminiscing about “the good old days” and trying desperately to figure out if your ex is seeing someone new. You can’t look forward to the future if you’re stuck in the past.

For Google Users:
By “Google users” Ehrlich, Bartz, and I really mean “search engine users,” and by “search engine users” we really mean everyone, so pay attention because this does apply to you! Now that search engines like Google can pull data from sites like Facebook and Twitter, social media is not the only source of break up misery online. With one simple search, you can find everything from your ex’s brand new online dating profile to an article about the trophy they won during their glory days as a high school mathlete.

Self-control, as Ehrlich and Bartz point out, is not exactly in the post-break up vocabulary, particularly “after a few whiskey sodas,” so don’t place your sanity in the less-then-capable hands of your easily compromised, recently dumped willpower. Instead, check out the browser plug-in Ex-Blocker from the creative agency JESS3. Type in your ex’s full name, Twitter username, Facebook URL, and the address of their blog, and – voila! – all mentions of your ex will be wiped from your Web browser forever.

With these tips, your break up should be a little easier to bear, at least when it comes to your life in cyberspace…and if not, it might be time to consider moving to that remote island in the Pacific.

Tag: dumped relationships facebook google
Though many women claim to be looking for “nice guys” in a romantic relationship, many are still attracted to the “bad boys” for the excitement, fun and mystery they represent. But does this mean nice guys don’t have a chance when it comes to love? Hardly. But first, we should clarify what it means to be a nice guy. Nice is not boring. Although we tend to associate nice with boring, they are not the same. A man can be nice as well as engaging, interesting,... ]]> Wed, 18 Aug 2010 08:43:00 -0500 173501 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173501.html Dating Experience men claim to be looking for “nice guys” in a romantic relationship, many are still attracted to the “bad boys” for the excitement, fun and mystery they represent. But does this mean nice guys don’t have a chance when it comes to love?

Hardly. But first, we should clarify what it means to be a nice guy.

Nice is not boring. Although we tend to associate nice with boring, they are not the same. A man can be nice as well as engaging, interesting, and surprising. To me, a boring man doesn’t contribute to the conversation because he has nothing new to say, is not curious about the world around him, and tends to agree with whatever the woman says or wants. This doesn’t win any hearts, guys. Boring is not going to help a relationship last.

Nice is not shy. Many women equate nice with shy when it comes to men. If a man is too intimidated to approach a woman, ask her out, or show her his affection, his shyness is hindering his dating magnetism. Nice guys do show their interest and attraction in a woman and they aren’t afraid to approach.

Nice is not needy. If a woman sees that a man is sending her flowers, presents, and calls or texts her several times a day, she’ll start to get weary. Pursuing a woman doesn’t mean that you have to prove yourself and your worth as a partner all the time by showering her with affection and gifts. This shows insecurity, which is not attractive to women. Nice guys show affection, compliment, and pursue a woman they are interested in, but they aren’t needy.

Nice is considerate and respectful. If a man shows respect towards the women he dates, is thoughtful, and is considerate of her feelings, he is being a nice guy. These are traits that most women are attracted to for long-term partnerships, as opposed to the men who don’t return phone calls or keep women guessing about their intentions.

While bad boys might be attractive to women in the short term, it’s the nice ones who “finish first” in terms of successful long-term partnerships.

Tag: relationships nice guy
Let's say you're new to the world of online dating. You're still not sure if you should tell your friends, and you've been on a couple of dates worthy of a sitcom. Then you meet someone who seems different from the rest, someone more like what you had in mind when you started this endeavor, and you're out on your first date.

It may be tempting, in the course of conversation, to bring up how you met, how they're so much better than the other people you've met through online dating. In... ]]> Tue, 17 Aug 2010 20:19:00 -0500 173469 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173469.html Dating Experience new to the world of online dating. You're still not sure if you should tell your friends, and you've been on a couple of dates worthy of a sitcom. Then you meet someone who seems different from the rest, someone more like what you had in mind when you started this endeavor, and you're out on your first date.

It may be tempting, in the course of conversation, to bring up how you met, how they're so much better than the other people you've met through online dating. In general, however, I would avoid this.

Why? Well, no matter how smoothly you might phrase it, this is what you're basically saying: “Wow, I can't believe I'm here. Online dating sites are full of freaks! You are, by far, the least freakiest person I've met through online dating! Of course, who knows how you would stack up in the 'real' dating arena...”

It's a mistake common to people who are new to online dating. They're still feeling a little self-conscious about it themselves, and while trying to be complimentary, are actually saying a whole lot more about their own insecurities.

What to do to avoid a foot-in-mouth moment? Don't think of online dating as a different world than any other kind of dating. Don't place a person you met through a site in a different box than someone you met at the grocery store. Once you've mentally crossed the 'online' out of 'online dating,' consider: is it very polite to bash former first dates – or talk about them at all, really – on a first date with someone else? No? Then move on to something you have in common, and talk about that instead.

Now, I understand, it can be awkward meeting someone for the first time, in any situation. It can be possible to address the awkwardness in a lighthearted manner when you first meet, as long as it doesn't become the only thing you talk about.

Good example: Said with a smile, at the beginning of the date: “Wow, this is funny! We've been emailing for so long, I feel like I should have a keyboard out to talk to you.”

Bad example: Said in the middle of the date: “So, am I the most normal person you've met through an online dating site? Let's compare war stories.”

As you set out on your first date, remember: it's not a novelty – it's a first meeting to determine if you're compatible as people. Nothing can be much simpler than that.

Tag: online dating first date
It’s summer which means there are plenty of barbeques and parties happening. Now is the time to take advantage of these social gatherings and start meeting new people! But how do you approach someone who catches your eye at a party? Should you offer cheesy one-liners to introduce yourself, or is there a better approach? Here are some tips: Make yourself approachable. Don’t stand in the corner and look around, waiting for someone to talk to you. Smile and circulate. ... ]]> Tue, 17 Aug 2010 09:55:00 -0500 173436 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173436.html Dating Experience mer which means there are plenty of barbeques and parties happening. Now is the time to take advantage of these social gatherings and start meeting new people!

But how do you approach someone who catches your eye at a party? Should you offer cheesy one-liners to introduce yourself, or is there a better approach? Here are some tips:

• Make yourself approachable. Don’t stand in the corner and look around, waiting for someone to talk to you. Smile and circulate. Introduce yourself first. There’s nothing sexier than confidence and putting others at ease to talk to you.
• Take interest in other party-goers. Ask questions and listen to what they tell you. Nothing attracts people more than an attentive listener and someone who treats others with respect and interest.
• Don’t look around the room when you’re talking with someone. There’s nothing more insulting than having a conversation with someone who isn’t really engaged with you. If you keep looking to see who else is at the party, you won’t connect. Focus on the person you’re talking to, and when you’re ready to leave and move on to someone else, politely excuse yourself.
• Don’t hang around the same person all night. Sure, you’ve found someone really attractive, but making yourself too available is a turn-off. Excuse yourself and circulate, and meet up with that person later. Alternatively, if you only talk with one or two people who you know at the party, you’re preventing yourself from meeting new and interesting people. Don’t cut yourself off when there is opportunity, even if you’re shy. Be bold and circulate.
• Bring a social wingman/woman, or go solo. Don’t bring your wallflower friend to a party or you may end up babysitting. Instead, call on your socially-savvy friends who have no problem approaching new people, and have them introduce you. Alternatively, go solo. There’s nothing that screams confidence like someone who comes to a party alone and engages with new people. Plus, other singles will know you are single too.
Tag: party pick up dating
For those of you waiting, eHarmony has finally released their free iPhone Dating App today (on the day the eHarmony turns 10 no less). The App also works on the iPod Touch and the new iPad as well. Our quick test found the App fast and responsive. eHarmony users on the iPhone (without using Safari) can now view new and existing matches, communicate with them through the guided process and mail, and modify your photos. Free eHarmony members can also subscribe through the App as well.

One... ]]> Mon, 16 Aug 2010 12:19:00 -0500 173364 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173364.html Dating Experience waiting, eHarmony has finally released their free iPhone Dating App today (on the day the eHarmony turns 10 no less). The App also works on the iPod Touch and the new iPad as well. Our quick test found the App fast and responsive. eHarmony users on the iPhone (without using Safari) can now view new and existing matches, communicate with them through the guided process and mail, and modify your photos. Free eHarmony members can also subscribe through the App as well.

One question I have is, I wonder if they will open up communication on the iPhone App during eHarmony's free communication weekends? They probably will but I guess we will just have to wait and see. I expect the next free communication weekend to happen in 2 weeks.

To try out the new Dating App, visit iTunes and to find out more about this dating site, check out our eHarmony review.

Tag: eharmony iphone

Today eHarmony turns 10. To let people know how successful this online dating site is and how easy their members find love they have come up with an advertising campaign called "Love Begins Here". You can expect to see some new television commercials (directed by an Academy Award-winning filmmaker) along with a huge billboard in Times Square. Nearly 50 couples participated in the 8 day shoot in Los Angeles to create these commercials. None of the eHarmony success story couples were paid to... ]]> Mon, 16 Aug 2010 11:55:00 -0500 173363 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173363.html Dating Experience rns 10. To let people know how successful this online dating site is and how easy their members find love they have come up with an advertising campaign called
Getting dumped, in the simple yet poignant words of CNN.com’s netiquette columnists Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz, “sucks.” Ancient axioms like “Time heals all wounds” and “There are plenty of fish in the sea” might provide some comfort to a broken heart but, as Ehrlich and Bartz point out in their article “How to handle a break-up online,” “breaking up is hard in the digital age – especially when the world is spending around 22 percent of its time on social networks.”

So what do you do... ]]> Mon, 16 Aug 2010 11:31:00 -0500 173362 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173362.html Dating Experience n the simple yet poignant words of CNN.com’s netiquette columnists Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz, “sucks.” Ancient axioms like “Time heals all wounds” and “There are plenty of fish in the sea” might provide some comfort to a broken heart but, as Ehrlich and Bartz point out in their article “How to handle a break-up online,” “breaking up is hard in the digital age – especially when the world is spending around 22 percent of its time on social networks.”

So what do you do when your ex is continuously posting updates about his or her latest fling on Twitter? Can a heart heal when you’re confronted with photos of your ex’s new boyfriend or girlfriend whenever you log onto Facebook? How do you move on when you’re tempted to Google your ex’s name every time you open your web browser?

Ehrlich and Bartz, news editors for Mashable.com and Psychology Today, respectively, offer the following advice for getting dumped with dignity in the digital age:

For Twitter Users:
If your ex is a chronic oversharer, the easiest way to avoid Twitter-induced heartache is, of course, to unfollow him or her and remove any and all torturous Tweets completely. But if deleting your ex forever seems like a move so cruel he or she doesn’t even deserve it for dumping you, check out Twitter clients like Brizzly which will eliminate the offending messages.

Ehrlich and Bartz also warn readers to take the Twitter high road at all times. Resist the temptation to Tweet about your hurt feelings or post messages about how badly you’d like revenge. Not only is it immature, there’s a very good chance that your ex’s friends or relatives are still reading your Tweets and are reporting back about that week you spent on the couch trying all 31 flavors of Baskin Robbins ice cream.

For Foursquare users:
The awkward run-in is one of the most painful parts of the breaking up process, so be aware of your locational privacy when using sites like Foursquare. Your ex definitely doesn’t still need to know where you are every second of every day. Once again, the easiest option is deleting him or her entirely, but if that route doesn’t sound appealing, Ehrlich and Bartz recommend using a web app like Avoidr, which “allows you to choose which Foursquare friends you want to forsake, and then flags their check-ins so you can sidestep an encounter.” If you and your ex frequent the same bars, restaurants, and coffee shops, this is a highly useful tool. The best course of action, however, is using your break up as motivation to ditch the pajamas and ice cream, and find new haunts and new friends all your own.

Join me next time for more advice on getting dumped from Brenna Ehrlich and Andrea Bartz. Up next: how to handle a break up on search engines and the king of social networking sites, Facebook.

Check out the original article here.

Tag: dumped relationships twitter foursquare

This week’s premiere of the new dating reality show “Dating in the Dark” lets contestants date potential matches without seeing what they look like.

Unfortunately, I don’t think the resulting show was as altruistic as the premise seemed to be. If you couldn’t see someone, would you be more or less conscious about what they looked like? Also, wouldn't you still consider looks a factor in measuring attraction?

In the first episode, we meet 3 single men and 3 single women. They are not... ]]> Sun, 15 Aug 2010 10:19:00 -0500 173300 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173300.html Dating Experience ere of the new dating reality show “Dating in the Dark” lets contestants date potential matches without seeing what they look like.

Unfortunately, I don’t think the resulting show was as altruistic as the premise seemed to be. If you couldn’t see someone, would you be more or less conscious about what they looked like? Also, wouldn't you still consider looks a factor in measuring attraction?

In the first episode, we meet 3 single men and 3 single women. They are not allowed to see each other when they meet; all encounters are made in the dark. It seems that initial attraction would be based on conversation rather than looks, but this is not the case, at least with one contestant.

One of the bachelors (Joey) decides to feel Natasha’s waist during their one-on-one date to make sure she isn’t “too fat”. He goes on to tell her his anxiety about dating overweight women, and how his last girlfriend “blew up like a tick” after they started dating.

Joey comes across as superficial during the show, but I have to wonder how many others were just as concerned about what their dates looked like. It seems that because contestants couldn’t see each other, including mannerisms or facial expressions, it would be difficult to make a decision about whether there is a connection. Even when we online date, we look at pictures first.

Does dating in the dark work better in real life? I can see the potential of “getting beyond the physical” when first starting to date by not actually being able to see each other, but I think ultimately it’s just another distraction in getting to know a person. I don’t think a dark room helps us to better assess who they are, or to make a real connection.

Tag: dating in the dark tv
OKCupid’s official blog, OKTrends, recently sent a powerful warning to its readers:

Don’t Be Ugly By Accident!

The eye-catching admonishment is the title of a post about the site’s latest study, an in-depth technical look at profile photos that forms the perfect follow-up to their previous report on the subject, “The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures” (check out our review of the article here). Instead of merely considering the content of the photos we post, writer Christian Rudder... ]]> Sat, 14 Aug 2010 08:43:00 -0500 173238 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173238.html Dating Experience l blog, OKTrends, recently sent a powerful warning to its readers:




A friend of mine has been having some trouble in the love department. She's met a guy, and he's sweet, trustworthy, and an overall good person. Luckily, she can recognize his positive traits. However, she wasn't sure whether she was, as she put it, “really attracted to him.”

The way she phrased it, and brought it up several times, puzzled me, so I began to question her. “Well, are you repulsed by him?” I asked.

“No, no!” she said. “Quite the opposite.” She was on vacation at... ]]> Fri, 13 Aug 2010 09:07:00 -0500 173151 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173151.html Dating Experience has been having some trouble in the love department. She's met a guy, and he's sweet, trustworthy, and an overall good person. Luckily, she can recognize his positive traits. However, she wasn't sure whether she was, as she put it, “really attracted to him.”

The way she phrased it, and brought it up several times, puzzled me, so I began to question her. “Well, are you repulsed by him?” I asked.

“No, no!” she said. “Quite the opposite.” She was on vacation at the time, so I asked her if she missed the guy. “Well,” she said, “As I've been seeing the sights, I've been wishing he was here to see them, or I've been texting him pictures and stories, and I've been thinking that maybe someday he could come here and see them, too.”

“Have you been thinking this way about anyone else?” I asked.

“Well, no,” she admitted.

“Okay,” I announced. “You've lost me. I have no idea what you mean when you say you're not attracted to him or you're not sure you like him. It certainly seems like you are and you do. So what's missing?”

“You know,” she said. “That feeling, that you need that person like a drug.”

I looked at her out of narrowed eyes. “You're missing infatuation,” I said flatly. “Or something less healthy.”

Infatuation is a heady thing. It's those chemicals in our brain that make us think we've found our one true love. Sometimes when we're infatuated we live on adrenaline and hormones and forget about things like eating and common sense. It can be quite the wild ride.

You can also be infatuated with someone completely wrong for you. It really has very little to do with whether or not you have true “chemistry.” And some people, perhaps, become addicted to the infatuation itself, and seek it out instead of a lasting relationship.

Here's the thing: no matter how wild the ride, you'll build up a tolerance to those chemicals. The infatuation will fade, and your relationship will now have to be based on whatever else you've built. Also, in my opinion my friend was comparing her levels of infatuation to the most suffocating relationships she'd ever experienced – those Romeo and Juliet-style obsessions in the teen years, when we're basically comprised of hormones and brain chemicals.

As you evaluate your relationships and your chemistry, ask yourself: Do you need infatuation? Are you hooked on those heady first months? And what does a relationship really need?

Tag: dating relationship
With the recent downtime of PlentyofFish a number of members contacted me asking a few questions about the dating site. One of them was ... can you tell me what happened to the POF Forums/Message Board? To my surprise, it looked like at first glance that the forums have been removed from Plentyoffish.com. The forums were quite popular on the site with hundreds of posts being added every day. Looking deeper into the problem the person who asked me this question said he found that the forums... ]]> Thu, 12 Aug 2010 19:55:00 -0500 173092 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173092.html Dating Experience owntime of PlentyofFish a number of members contacted me asking a few questions about the dating site. One of them was

... can you tell me what happened to the POF Forums/Message Board?

To my surprise, it looked like at first glance that the forums have been removed from Plentyoffish.com. The forums were quite popular on the site with hundreds of posts being added every day. Looking deeper into the problem the person who asked me this question said he found that the forums still existed but the link to them had been removed from PlentyofFish a while ago. He then asked me why? My best educated guess is that the forums were too distracting to members. The owner of POF wanted people to use his dating site where ads are being displayed. The more ads viewed and clicked on by visitors the more money the website will make (this is how most websites and publications make money, including the one you are reading now). Since the forums don't display ads (and therefore do not make money) I figure that is why the link to them was removed. With no link, new members wouldn't find out about the forums and stay just on the dating site while still allowing the older members who knew about the forums to continue to use them.

For those of you looking for the PlentyofFish forums, you can still find them here or, if you like you could try posting in our own dating site advice forums.

While I was checking out the PlentyofFish forum issue I notice that there were a few new features. First off it looks like Upgraded Members (those of you who paid for the Serious Members Badge) now have their profiles displayed to local users at the top of their search results. Originally the upgraded membership was suppose to show your intent to the dating community that you are serious about dating (see Story), that is why it was called the Serious Member Profile Upgrade. As we thought though, this badge has slowly but surely morphed into a full membership upgrade that now even affects the search results. I am not saying this is a bad thing as we knew it would eventually happen, it was just funny how POF didn't originally want people to think they had a paid membership.

A few other new features I noticed included some search options. You can now search for users in a specified zip code who logged in at least once a day. The average user displayed by this search actually logs in 3 times a day to PlentyofFish. The other new search option is a
Do your friends ever wonder why you don’t make it past the first or second date stage? It’s entirely possible that you’re being your own worst enemy. Self-sabotage comes where we least expect it and sometimes it’s our own doing! Here are seven tips to keep you on the road to dating success instead of sabotage: 1: Leave your day’s frustrations at the door If you’re hung up on an argument with a coworker or the fact it took you 30 minutes to find your keys,... ]]> Thu, 12 Aug 2010 11:55:00 -0500 173063 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-173063.html Dating Experience s ever wonder why you don’t make it past the first or second date stage? It’s entirely possible that you’re being your own worst enemy. Self-sabotage comes where we least expect it and sometimes it’s our own doing! Here are seven tips to keep you on the road to dating success instead of sabotage:

1: Leave your day’s frustrations at the door

If you’re hung up on an argument with a coworker or the fact it took you 30 minutes to find your keys, you’re bringing a bad attitude into your date. Take a deep breath and let it go before go time!

2: “Interviewing” too soon

If you’re intent on drilling down into someone’s “five year plan” on date one or two, dates start to feel like job interviews. It’s a key reason someone might not call you back.

3: Seeing “single” as a problem

If you look at the fact that you haven’t found Mr. or Mrs. Right as a problem, you might start shifting your personality around. When you do that, you’re creating someone else and attracting the wrong type of person!

4: Forgetting to build your friendships

All too often, we get so wrapped-up in finding a mate that we forget our friends. Whether old or new, friends are there whether we’re single or not and we need to focus on those relationships, too.

5: Going out in gangs

If you move out on the town for a night of fun, keep the groups small. Three is a great number, as people tend to not want to approach men and women hanging out in large groups. Keep yourself accessible!

6: Trying to impress others

If you focus more on what you think people want to hear instead of who you are, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Nobody wants to date a Yes Man or Woman. Be yourself and say what you think and you won’t have to worry about walking on eggshells when you find The One.

7: Getting overwhelmed with advice

Do you run out and ask 15 of your friends what you should do about this guy or that girl? Sure, we all need a little advice every now and then, but keep the questions for one or two select friends instead of everyone at the local coffee shop. It helps you focus on what’s best for you instead of what other people might think is best!

Tag: dating tips mistakes
It’s said that “A picture is worth a thousand words,” and while that may be true, it doesn’t mean that you can forget about words altogether. Take a cue from the poets and playwrights who have captivated audiences for hundreds and hundreds of years – the word is a very powerful tool for capturing someone’s mind and heart. In “Effective Dating Conversation 101,” I stressed the importance of asking questions on a date. But a conversation composed... ]]> Wed, 11 Aug 2010 08:43:00 -0500 172959 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-172959.html Dating Experience d that “A picture is worth a thousand words,” and while that may be true, it doesn’t mean that you can forget about words altogether. Take a cue from the poets and playwrights who have captivated audiences for hundreds and hundreds of years – the word is a very powerful tool for capturing someone’s mind and heart.

In “Effective Dating Conversation 101,” I stressed the importance of asking questions on a date. But a conversation composed entirely of questions would be immensely tedious, so in this lesson it’s time for us to discuss what to say (and what not to say) during the rest of the conversation. Let’s start with one of the most important things you’ll ever learn:

• Bring humor and a positive attitude with you wherever you go. This advice should be followed in all aspects of your life, at all times. A person who focuses on life’s transient negatives is not a person that others want to be around. On the other hand, a person who brings energy, laughter, and light into others’ lives is someone who will always be surrounded friends, family, and lovers. You will be a truly indispensable part of someone’s life if you can ensure that they are happier with you than they are without you.

• Do not brag about what makes you a great partner. Confidence is incredibly sexy, but arrogance is not. It’s as simple as that.

• Don’t bring up former relationships. If you constantly talk about how wonderful an old relationship was, your date will become insecure and worry that he or she will never be able to live up to the precedent that has been set. If, alternatively, you talk incessantly about how bad a previous relationship was, your date will get the impression that you are a generally negative and jaded person who dwells on the past instead of looking forward to the future.

• Don’t make critical or spiteful comments about others. Speaking negatively about other people highlights your lack of self-confidence, and your dates will judge you based on how you treat everyone around you, not just on how you treat your romantic partners.

• Have meaningful, intriguing conversations by:

a) Being honest always.

b) Continuously maintaining a high level of energy, humor, and flirtatious tension in the conversation.

c) Making your conversation partner feel that they are unique and important to you.

d) Ending the exchange before you’ve run out of things to say and your interest in each other has waned.

And finally, the most surprising rule of all:

• Don’t fear silence. Silence is nothing to be afraid of, even if it feels awkward. Speaking too much can leave a bad impression, as rapid speech usually indicates that you are uncomfortable and insecure. Instead of feeling pressure to keep the conversation going, embrace silence as an opportunity to think about what you would like to say next, and revel in the fact that silence very well might mean that your date is too lost in thought about you to focus on the conversation!

Tag: online dating communication
If you spent hours crafting the perfect online dating profile, agonizing over each word and every punctuation mark, the thought of having to converse with a date in person probably feels tremendously intimidating. Today I am going to let you in on a little secret: it doesn’t have to be. Apply the lessons learned here, in Effective Dating Conversation 101, and you’ll be ready to start wooing your dates with your words so skillfully that Shakespeare would be jealous. I would like to... ]]> Tue, 10 Aug 2010 09:55:00 -0500 172868 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-172868.html Dating Experience ours crafting the perfect online dating profile, agonizing over each word and every punctuation mark, the thought of having to converse with a date in person probably feels tremendously intimidating.

Today I am going to let you in on a little secret: it doesn’t have to be. Apply the lessons learned here, in Effective Dating Conversation 101, and you’ll be ready to start wooing your dates with your words so skillfully that Shakespeare would be jealous.

I would like to start this course with a few lessons about questions: when to ask them, what to ask, and bad questioning habits you’ll need to break. Take out your notebooks, students, and let’s begin:

Lesson #1: Ask questions. You enjoy talking about yourself, I enjoy talking about myself, and I guarantee that every one of your dates will enjoy talking about his- or herself, too. Express sincere interest by asking meaningful questions that go beyond superficial inquiries like “Where do you work?” and “What do you do in your spare time?”

Lesson #2: Ask open-ended questions. If your query can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no,” consider skipping the question altogether. “Yes” or “no” questions stall conversations, while open-ended questions sustain them. Answers that require thought keep the dialogue going, and allow you to discover common interests and new topics of conversation.

Lesson #3: Ask follow up questions. Like open-ended questions, follow up questions extend the conversation and potentially provide the speakers new directions in which to take their discussion. Thoughtful follow up questions also indicate to your date that you are genuinely interested in who they are and the things they have to say.

Lesson #4: Save the big questions for a rainy day (or at least a future date). Though it’s important to ask questions about heavy topics like politics and religion in order to determine your compatibility with a potential partner, hot-button issues are not ideal subject matter for the first few dates. It is also judicious to stay away from revealing the details (particularly the negative ones) of your past relationships and exposing any other skeletons that may be lurking in your closet when you’re in the beginning stages of getting to know someone.

Lesson #5: Avoid turning your date into a job interview. While still showing interest in your date, be careful that you do not ask so many questions that your rendezvous begins to feel like a job interview. Rapid-fire questioning will overwhelm your conversation partner, and clichéd interview questions like “Where do you live?” “Where did you go to school?” and “What do you do for a living?” will bore them.

Now that you grasp the basic rules of asking questions on early dates, you’re ready to move on to “Effective Dating Conversation 101: Part Two,” where we will continue the discussion of the do’s and don’ts of dating dialogue.

Tag: online dating communication
I have just started to see some visitor comments being submitted that the free online dating site Plenty of Fish is offline. POF looks to have been experiencing problems for the last couple of hours. The message that now appears when you visit the site is "The service is unavailable". Other visitors have reported seeing Memory errors which looks like it had when POF tried to send some email. Memory errors usually are caused by either faulty software or hardware. I would put my money on this... ]]> Mon, 09 Aug 2010 09:31:00 -0500 172740 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-172740.html Dating Experience ed to see some visitor comments being submitted that the free online dating site Plenty of Fish is offline. POF looks to have been experiencing problems for the last couple of hours. The message that now appears when you visit the site is
If you were to ask a twelve-year-old girl what she's expecting or wanting her future spouse to be, her response might go something like this:

“I want someone like that guy from that hospital TV show! Someone who's super-attractive, and a doctor, so he's really intelligent. And a doctor, so he makes lots of money. Someone who falls in love instantly the moment he sees me, and totally understands me. Oh, and he has to be funny!”

As children, we set the bar rather high. Boys do this... ]]> Sun, 08 Aug 2010 09:07:00 -0500 172656 http://www.social-space.com/-blog-172656.html